"Incel"...a misnomer.
The incel culture... and why I know so much about it.
I am about to make a confession that I thought I would never ever make. And if it precludes me from ever getting a decent girlfriend, so be it. And if people want to laugh, let them. I probably would too. Maybe. On June 23, 1977 I turned 18 years old. As I write this it is Feburary 24, 2024. I have never had a romantic relationship. I guess that makes me an “incel”
Or does it? “Incel’ is short for “involuntary celibate”. But what is meant by “involuntary”? I mean there are a handful of men for whatever pre existing condition or another are just unable to have “insert tab A into slot B” sex. THAT is involuntary celibacy. THOSE people clearly deserve our compassion. But those that cannot find a woman to consent to sex to them can save up their money and find a sex worker to have sex with them. However if those I just described just don’t want to do that, guess what? That isn’t being “involuntary celibate”!
As for why, a man who isn’t a complete dummy and can be quite funny and kind at times hasn’t had a romantic relationship, the reasons are complex. I have never earned even an average income in my life is one factor (and the one excuse I use the most). Also undiagnosed Aspergers12 . And I had hygiene issues, particularly oral hygiene. That one is on me. And then there was luck. As in bad luck. And there was a period of several years of self isolation. Also self esteem issues (I was a product of a marriage between a closeted gay man and a woman who had major unresolved issues with her own mother). I really cannot give a definitive answer.
Physically: I am 6 feet tall, fully ambulatory, I am about 50-75 lbs over weight but in my 20s I was normal weight for height. My hair is gray but it’s all there (and up until about my late 40s it wasn’t). So no apparent physical reason for my lack of romantic success.
But enough about me. Now that we have pretty much established that the term “incel” is a misnomer, I would like to talk about the “incel3 culture”.
If you were to ask 100 incels why they are incels (why they can’t get laid) a minimum 90 of them would say money. Or more specific a lack of it. Then again maybe their standards are too high (they think they deserve an 84 passing up a willing 6).
The incel culture in general are looking for that one person that will end their inceldom5. And in the United States they worship one of two people: Donald Trump and Elon Musk. Or both. We are talking about two of the most horrible people living in the United States right now. I KNOW Trump would laugh at those people behind their back. Maybe Elon has more empathy but he hasn’t shown any. And the ONLY reason either of them ever got laid in the first place is because their daddies were super rich. If I was part of the incel community (because of who they worship I am not) I would be VERY resentful of Elon because the ONLY reason he is able to attract ANY woman is because he is worth $100-200 billion. And Donald hasn’t been able to get it up the last ten years (his fear of being caught needing boner pills precludes him taking them6).
That’s me and the “incel culture” and why I feel the term “incel” is a misnomer. Pity me, laugh at me. All I ask is to leave a constructive comment. And maybe subscribe. It’s free. For now.
Thanks for reading this.
PS one time I did pay a sex worker (actually a hooker in a back alley when I was stationed in Okinawa in the US Army) and well I had “performance anxiety7”
Which is now an antiquated term for autism spectrum disorder
Which no one knew about until 1989 when I was 30 years old, thereby precluding me from the childhood therapy that could have helped me.
Since incel is the term these people use to describe themselves I will use it in the rest of the post.
On a 1 to 10 scale
The only person that can truly end their inceldom can be found in the mirror.
He has a virile image his cult buys into to maintain.
A fancy way of saying I could not get it up. Maybe I am one of those 4 or 5 heterosexual men that can’t have sex without love.